Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
