my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
