I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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