her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Small penises have feelings too.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
