i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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