if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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