Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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