What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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