my shit smells like andre
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize