Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
