They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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