I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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