i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize