"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
