:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
