Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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