That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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