There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
