I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
