So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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