you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
