Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
