They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
