Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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