Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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