Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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