She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
