the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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