My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
