Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize