His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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