TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize