i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
