Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize