I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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