Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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