This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
