i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She said her name was "party"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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