when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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