Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
