well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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