Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
