I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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