seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
