yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
