first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
