do herpes really smell.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
