I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
