i'm lost and i look like a hooker
pop tarts are not kleenex
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
