I think i peed on brittanys purse
i think i have herpe
just one?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
