why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
