careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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