he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize