I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
