I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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