he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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