Non-Jews are for practice
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can vaginas get frostbite?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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