Kiss
Puke
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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