Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
