Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
