just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize