somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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