Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
