It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
