I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
