how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
